4/10/13 – The picture in our head

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“What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it is supposed to be.” – Unknown

I think about my dad EVERY day…pretty much all day if I’m being honest…and I think I get the most upset when I tell myself that it wasn’t supposed to be this way, that he is supposed to still be in my life. But after reading this quote for probably the 100th time, I’m starting to look at it all a little differently. Why wasn’t it supposed to be this way? Why do I think that for some reason I would have my father in my life for longer? That’s what screws me up, that’s what gets me all emotional, thinking that he is SUPPOSED to be here. Just because the picture in my head has my dad here with me longer doesn’t mean that is reality. Acceptance is a hard thing, I tell ya, but if I can start to change the picture in my head to the picture of my reality, maybe the pain won’t be as bad. Maybe I can look back on the memory of my father and be grateful for all I DID have while he WAS here, focusing on what he taught me and how I can keep him in my life forever through my thoughts and actions, instead of focusing on how awful it is that he isn’t here in person now.

Huh…I think I just had an Ah-ha moment while typing haha Wow, that picture in our head really does screw us up. No one knows how life is SUPPOSED to be before it all happens, because what is SUPPOSED to be is actually present day reality.

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