“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief…and unspeakable love.”

-Washington Irving

You know, it’s funny, grief. It doesn’t make sense, there are no instructions, no one’s journey with it is the same. But what is even crazier to me is how strongly one can feel for someone else’s pain and how grieving with someone going through a loss can almost feel harder than grieving for your own.

Sadly, I’m experiencing this today. Since my dad passed away, every time I have a friend that loses a parent I feel that loss stronger than my own, it makes it all so real again. And I cry: tears of understanding and sadness and compassion and anger, and so many other unexplainable emotions which I don’t feel are even definable. This doesn’t make me feel weak, it makes me feel stronger in the long run. I get a little tougher every time I have to face my own grief again, face to face, and being able to help others like I was helped. The tears mean more than anything I could ever say to try and make things easier. Thinking back to the moment my father passed away I was surrounded by so many people that love me, and they didn’t say a word, they just cried.  Those tears were messages of love and I felt that, and that was enough.

There’s a song that calms me, brings me to a place of peace, and reminds me of all the people who love me and are there to hold me up when I can’t do it alone. (Please click the image below.)

Today’s blog is to you, love, and you know who you are. I love you so much and I WILL “shine the light”! The tears I’m shedding are messengers of overwhelming grief…and unspeakable love! ❤

“Fair or unfair, sometimes we have to give ourselves what we wish we could get from someone else.”

– Phil McGraw

For most of my life I think that I looked for love, respect, acceptance and acknowledgment from others instead of looking within myself for these things.  Whether it be friends, family, bosses, boys, professors or even strangers, I looked to them for my own self worth and let their perceptions and evaluations of me serve as a self-definition. I settled with this. But over time it occurred to me that I couldn’t depend on everyone else for things, I had to love myself, respect myself, accept myself and acknowledge myself.

I truly believe in the saying, “No one can love you until you truly love yourself.” At the end of the day you are all you’ve got, so give yourself all the things you look to others for and they will follow your footsteps. When you BELIEVE you are loveable and deserve the respect of others, when you accept the things you cannot change and acknowledge that YOU are enough, it becomes the truth.

I am as guilty as anyone so please remind me of this if you ever see that I have forgotten.

Once in awhile, 
Right in the middle of an ordinary life, 
Love gives us a fairy tale.
– Anonymous 

And I have witnessed SO MANY real life fairy tales this year! I have been in and to quite a few weddings the past few years, but this year especially, and today marks my final wedding for 2011–The Marchetti/Sasz wedding! I will use today’s blog to congratulate ALL of my friends who have gotten married this year and remind them all how happy I am for them.

Let’s just put them out there: The McGee’s, Douglass’s, Pritchards and (in 5 hours) Sasz’s— I wish you all nothing but a lifetime of happiness, health, love and wonderful memories! I’m honored to have been a witness to your real life fairy tales. The love all of you couples have is inspiring and I couldn’t be happier to call you all my friends, and, in extension, my family. It’s not every day that people find the love that you all have. Please cherish it and know how lucky you are to have found one another! I can’t wait to watch your fairy tales continue…

Now, let the party begin! 😉

“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” –  Stephen R. Covey

We had a work meeting this week and this quote came up from the start. I think you have to read it a few times over to really comprehend what it is saying, ‘Seek first to understand, then to be understood.’  It’s about the importance of listening in being an effective communicator. So many fights and arguments could be avoided if we all did this.

This is something I know I struggle with, being such a talker. I pride myself in being a good listener to my friends but am I always REALLY listening? Or am I hearing what I want to hear and formulating my response in my head, missing some of what people are REALLY trying to tell me? It takes practice and patience to really understand what someone is saying. A lot of times we all hear just what we can relate to and block out the rest, and important feelings and thoughts get lost in translation. We have to change our perception of things and also our interpretation of events and emotions to be able to relate to others effectively. Truly understand first then it will be your turn to be understood as well.

I would explain this some more but I think  Stephen R. Covey says it best in his great book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. (If you click on the picture below it will take you to the book.) Take a peak, you will learn something new and applicable in your own lives…I PROMISE!

“I have found that when you are deeply troubled, there are things you get from the silent devoted companionship of a dog that you can get from no other source.” – Doris Day

“If only men could love each other like dogs, the world would be a paradise.” – James Douglas

I couldn’t choose which one I liked better for today so I wrote both 🙂

Every since I was a child I have had a dog in the house. Starting with BB (who I don’t remember since I was a baby), then Spuds, then Buster B and, finally, my VERY OWN baby, Bailey. Bailey is hands down (obviously I’m biased) the SWEETEST dog in the world!  I get sad every time I think of the day when I won’t have her with me anymore. But it will all have been worth it. She has made my journey so special and amazing so far.

The reason I write about her today, and dogs in general, is because she has been to the vet more than usual the last few months.  As she gets older that just happens I suppose. But, after another visit this morning, it made me really think about how amazing dogs are and the love and comfort they bring us, ALL of us. Who looks at a photo of a puppy and doesn’t say “Awwww…”? They are so devoted and are there for us when no one else is. Only babies can make us smile like dogs can 🙂

It’s true, if mankind could treat one another like dogs treat people, the world would be a better place. They get it…All You Need is Love! (Whoops, is that another quote? haha)  😉

So, dog owners, give a little extra love to your best friend today! They deserve it!

“Sibling relationships – and 80 percent of Americans have at least one – outlast marriages, survive the death of parents, resurface after quarrels that would sink any friendship.  They flourish in a thousand incarnations of closeness and distance, warmth, loyalty and distrust.”

 – Erica E. Goode, “The Secret World of Siblings,” U.S. News & World Report, 10 January 1994

It amazes me how sibling relationships can withstand anything thrown at them. My brother and I have been through hell and back. This quote pretty much spells it all out: Survived the death of a parent, resurfaced after quarrels that would sink any friendship, closeness and distance, loyalty and distrust. But, through it all, we have always remained close. I love him more than anyone in this world other than my mother.

I’m going to use this post today to share how PROUD I am of him right now. He sounds awesome and exudes strength and confidence in his voice like I’ve never heard from him before. My dad would be SO proud of him and I can’t wait to hug his neck again! I always knew he had it in him, he just didn’t know he did. I truly believe in him!

Don’t give up on anyone! You can practice tough love, sometimes that is what we need, but don’t give up. Everyone is capable of greatness, they just have to find it in themselves first and truly believe it before anyone else can. Your siblings are your forever friends.

“The best we can do is focus on what we have the power to improve in ourselves, and when it comes to our body–love the one you’re with.”

– Sara Davidson

I “fell off the wagon,” as they say, after my dad passed away, and I let my health fall to the bottom of my priority list (the exact opposite of where it should EVER be). I wasn’t eating right, getting enough exercise and was barely sleeping. I can’t beat myself up over this now because I had to grieve the way I had to grieve, but the time finally came to take the next step forward. I have since promised myself to NEVER let this happen again. One of the only things I have power over is myself, I can improve my health and take care of my body.

I started a boot camp about a month ago and was back in the game, it felt like, until last Friday…I hurt my back. Those that know me know that I would normally just wait it out and not see a doctor.  But, because of the promise I made to myself, this wasn’t allowed.  I went today and I start my treatment tomorrow.  Turns out there are other things that need to be taken care of as well.

Take care of yourself. Make yourself your number one priority because no one else will. Eat right, exercise and get good sleep.  You only get one body so treat it right! The healthier you are the happier you are.  And, believe me, others feel that energy!

“If I could give you one gift, I would give you the ability to see yourself as I see you, so you could see how truly special you are.”

I spent the latter half of my day today with a good friend of mine that is leaving for Peru on Wednesday to start a new job. I have to admit, I cried as I was driving away. I had been wondering today what my quote would be until I pulled off of her street, and then this one came to me. I can honestly use it when speaking about ALL of my friends, but, tonight, I’m using it for Amy.

I am so proud of her for following her heart and her dreams and making a move that many are scared to make. It takes strength and determination to follow a dream and passion such as this. She is truly special and will always be a dear friend to me. I wish her nothing but the best as she begins this next adventure on the road of life.

My going away gift to you, my dear, is to always see yourself as I see you, so you are always reminded of how truly special you are!  You inspire me! I’ll miss you, love, but am just a Skype away. So many people are about to be given the gift of you and your smile, your kindness and your beauty and I couldn’t be happier for them. Safe travels and good luck!

“You’re never fully dressed without a smile!” – Annie

I was reminded how important smiling was just yesterday on my ride home from work. My lower back was out and the weather had finally taken a toll on my sinuses, needless to say, I just wanted to be home. I was NOT smiling! But, something awesome happened while I was sitting at a stop light.  I looked to my left and two friends were hugging goodbye to go their separate ways. As the one girl turned to walk down the street she had a smile from ear to ear on her face and I automatically smiled myself. Smiles are contagious! They have so much positive energy behind them and seeing this girl smiling yesterday changed my whole mood! Funny how someone you don’t even know can make your day a little brighter.

And, let’s throw two quotes into one post, “Don’t frown, because you never know when someone is falling in love with your smile.” It’s so true. A smile is part of the outfit we should all put on everyday. Don’t leave it in the closet, put it on, even when you don’t want to. Because it is so important and may just change someone’s whole day around. So, thank you, random girl on the sidewalk, for reminding me how smart that curly-haired, little red head was 🙂

   “Forget the past, but remember what it taught you.”

This quote personally reminds me of one of my favorite books, The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz. The one agreement that I have to remind myself of on a daily basis is ‘Be Impeccable with your Word.’ Your word isn’t just what is spoken.  It’s also your expressions, your actions, your attitude, what you put your belief into, self judgement and the judgment of others.

I mention this because there have been times in my past when I gossiped or said things out of pain and anger, maybe even jealousy and envy, and I wasn’t impeccable with my word. I have hurt people that I never intended to and I have beat myself up for it instead of just learning from the experience and moving on.  You have to analyze and understand the root of what happened and why, sincerely apologize for it, forget about it, move on and learn from what the experience taught you. We all make mistakes, we just have to learn from them and try our best not to make the same mistake twice.

Once it has been said, done, expressed and shown to the world, you can’t take it back. You can only work to make it better and use each experience as a text book for your future. So choose your words, your actions, your expressions, your judgments wisely, because they are an extension of who you are and create the impression that others will get of you.

I suggest this book to any of you that have never read it. It’s like my little Bible. Click for a link to Amazon.com (free publicity lol):