Monthly Archives: August 2013

8/29/13 – Health care is about people making your life better (A Tribute to My Father)

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Right after my father passed away I was contacted by one of my father’s patients, Susan Gast, and her husband, Phil Gast. Susan sent me an article that she wrote that would be printed in our local newspaper, The Gwinnett Daily Post. I had the honor of meeting them at his funeral and will hold this close to my heart until the day that I die. I wanted to share it with all of you. I hope that I live my life in a way that someone writes an article about me that is half as amazing as this. Thank you, again, Susan! You make it easier to grieve 🙂

Health care is about people making your life better 
By Susan Gast

I don’t think a day has gone by recently in which I have not heard health care discussed, analyzed or dissected. I – like countless Americans – have listened with interest and mixed feelings.

Just over a week ago, however, my health care died. And I was heartbroken.

His name was Larry LaViola. He was a New Yorker comfortably transplanted and welcomed in the Deep South. He spoke softly, in a smooth, calming cadence – so smooth and calming that if you weren’t paying close attention you might miss the pointed ribbing he was shooting your way.

For 35 years, he practiced at Snellville Medical Group and during that time took only two sick days. Officially he was a physician’s assistant. But only officially.

To me, to my husband, to my children and to hundreds who live in southern Gwinnett County, he was our family doctor.

He was the one we went to for camp and sports physicals. He treated us for the flu, sinus infections or toenail fungus. He got us through bronchitis and diagnosed my son’s appendicitis, even when the symptoms had disappeared. He nursed us through tendinitis, referred us for X-rays and blood tests.

A tireless professional, he was good at what he did. Really good. So good that I can’t recall the last time I had an appointment with the doctor whose name is on my prescriptions.

I saw Mr. LaViola in late spring. At a Mother’s Day picnic, I had barefooted it across rocks and into a stream at a park. I stepped on something that lodged itself deep into my heel. He X-rayed it and worked on it, but was cautious about causing further injury. He urged me to call back if it wasn’t better soon.

I remember him looking me straight in the eye and telling me it wouldn’t hurt his feelings a bit to refer me to a specialist. The wound was stubborn, so he eventually did. That was the exception. Usually we had to go no farther than Mr. LaViola.

I recall that last appointment. We talked about his children, my children and the economy. On other occasions, he talked about golf or vacation spots. Occasionally it was about our community and issues it was facing.

My husband often remarked about how he looked forward to medical appointments – perhaps not to the medical part, but to the conversations and sincere health advice he would receive. They sometimes discussed Mr. LaViola’s days in the Army. My husband likened his frank perspectives to the “sanity amidst the insanity” you find in characters of TV’s “M*A*S*H.”

It was that way with Mr. LaViola. You usually emerged from his office with not only a prescription, but a feeling that you had just renewed a friendship. Not a bosom buddy kind of friendship. We didn’t hang out with him on the weekends or ask his family over for dinner. There was a lot we didn’t know about him.

But Mr. LaViola made a connection – a human-to-human connection that seemed to elevate our association above that of just a medical professional and patient.

A few weeks ago, I heard he had stopped working. He had been diagnosed with cancer. It was serious.

The community sent cards and letters. We kept in touch with the doctor’s office about him. We heard that some patients mowed his yard and took food or care packages to his home. His name appeared in church bulletins with prayers requested. The community thought it unfair that we couldn’t do for him what he had done for us.

He passed away Aug. 29 at age 62. The mass for him at St. John Neumann’s Catholic Church in Lilburn on Wednesday was packed.

On the night of Mr. LaViola’s death, someone from his office called us at home to let us know.

I knew from my husband’s voice and subdued responses what had happened. I turned down the volume of the Braves game we had been watching. When he replaced the phone receiver, we sat in silence for a few minutes, then started sharing memories of the man who had helped us raise our children and ourselves, who had touched so many lives, helped so many people.

That’s what health care is.

The debates we hear today are necessary – but they are big debates – ones that encompass law, business, economics and politics.

Real health care is personal. It is a relationship. It is one-on-one.

It is Larry LaViola. He was a wonderful friend and a wonderful healer. He has left a magnificent legacy.

I will miss him.

(Susan Gast is a writer who lives in Snellville, Georgia.)

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Here is another article/blog written by a patient of my father’s! 🙂 Thank you, Robin Payne! It is also followed by other comments by patients.

Today’s post is about a great man.  It has been said that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”, and I agree.  I would add that “greatness is in the eye of the beholder.”  When my family first moved from Michigan to Georgia over 30 years ago, Larry LaViola became our doctor.  He passed away a few weeks ago and his loss is being mourned by family, friends, patients and coworkers.

Dr. LaViola is a great man to my family.  He cared for me for over 30 years.  About a year ago it occurred to me just prior to one visit that he might retire in the next 5 years.  As soon as he entered the room I asked him “you aren’t going to retire anytime soon are you?”  he replied “Nope.”  I came back and said “good, because what would I do if you weren’t my Dr. or if Amber couldn’t see you?”  he just laughed and said “Hey, I’ll be here forever, don’t worry about it!”  We made the decision 21 years ago that Amber would not see a pediatrician, that Dr. LaViola would be her Dr.  It is a decision we never regretted.

No matter how bad you were feeling, he always made your spirit lighten.  He entered the room, threw your chart on the counter and said “What?  Whadda ya want?”  But when it came down to figuring out what you needed, he was all business.  In the worst depths of my depression he would sit and listen to me.  I always managed to keep the tears completely bottled from the rest of the world, but he had a way of saying “how are you really?” that broke through the protective barrier I had set up against the world and he would just listen.

He never hesitated to send you on to the next level of care if he felt that it was more than he could do.  After treating my depression for 8 years successfully, my medicine just quit working.  We tried lots of things, to no avail.  Finally, he said “look, you’ve got to see someone more qualified than me – someone with a gift of mixing the right meds to get this under control.”  I always felt and am convinced that he wanted me better because he cared about me, not just because it was his job.

He was an amazing diagnostician.  That was always incredible to me.  He knew exactly what was going on and where it hurt.  That is a gift given from God.

He was hilariously funny.  He was always crackin’ jokes.  When Amber was little she had an unbelievable number of ear infections, multiple sets of tubes, etc…  He would look in her ear, throw his hands up and say “Well, we’re going to have to operate!”  Oh, they would laugh hysterically.  They poked fun at each other.  It was like being at a comedy routine with Abbott and Costello – each trying to outdo the other in jokes and stuff.  As Amber aged, we noticed some issues that kept recurring.  When she was 13 he made the final diagnosis that made the difference between a life lived in the shadows and a life lived in the light for Amber.  Amber had been struggling with OCD and depression and that began a quest for the proper meds for her.  Sometimes I feel we owe him her life.  When we finally got her meds under control, she looked at me one day and said “I feel like I’ve been living in a pit and I’m out of it now.”  How do you say thank you to a Dr. for that gift?  How do you say thank you for giving my daughter her life back when words seem so inadequate?  I never went to see him that he didn’t ask about Amber.  He had spent so much time caring for her and helping her get better, that he always said “how is our girl doing?”

Dr. LaViola was what great doctors are supposed to be.  He was what the family doctor used to be.  He was kind, compassionate, friendly, available, caring, funny.  I’ve seen him out and about in the community and he always said hello, asked about Amber, asked how I was.  How many people have a Dr. that if they saw in the grocery store would remember their name?  Another gift from God!

My prayer for everyone reading this is that you find a Dr. you trust and who loves your family.  Find one that sees you as a part of his family, not just a patient/client.  Find one that takes the time needed to hear you and know you.  I wish Dr. LaViola had been mentoring a younger Dr. because we need more Dr. LaViola’s in the world.  I miss him already.

In my family his name is synonymous with greatness!

Comment by Ann Walker:

Robin’s experiences mirror so many more. My family moved here from Lousiana began seeing him the year that he entered the Medical Group Practice and we will always remember his professionalism, expertise and his feel good approach to patient care. Our sons grew up with Mr. Laviola. They were so comfortable with him. The had numerous soccer injuries, strains, sprains, and such. He was always interested, knew about the latest shoes to help prevent ankle strains and they connected.

When my son Billy leaned that he was ill, he just wanted to let him know how much he meant to him. He looked for him on facebook, and found his wife’s space and sent him his message.

He was such a character, you always knew he was going to cheer you up, even if you were feeling lousy. He never appeared in a hurry, at that time you were the most important patient that he had. He and Dr. Ahrendt were a great pair. You just knew that he would make things better and fortunatly for us he did.

My husband was his most frequent patient in recent years and he was so good with his many medical concerns. He left us all too soon. We ask God’s blessings on his family.

Comment by Eddie Payne:

Dr.LaViola was a true joy. Not only did he treat Robin and Amber, he was my doctor as well. We had a lot of fun making jokes about my girls, but when it was time he was all business. I totaly agree that we need more family doctors with a heart for people like Larry had.

He will be well and truly missed.

Eddie Payne

Comment by Amber Payne:

Dr. LaViola is one person who truly changed my life. How many people in your life can you honestly say that about? He impacted my life in a truly extraordinary way. He saw me regularly for 21 years. I was in his office probably about once a month, no joke. I honestly looked forward to my trip to the doctor whenever I went because I got to see him (what kid looks forward to the doctor?). He would walk in and instantly trigger a smile on your face with his typical… “What? What do ya want?” He was someone I could confide in. He knew my deepest and hardest struggles and because of this he was able to come to the conclusion and make my official diagnosis of OCD and depression. I can honestly say he turned my life around. He helped make my life a life worth living. I know what it feels like to have been dead and come alive, all with his help. It is incredible how he knew the exact medicines I needed. When I would come in to be checked for how medicines were doing, he instantly knew how I was doing just by looking at me. He had a gift, a gift from God. God blessed me with an incredible doctor for 21 years. I don’t know if I could have made it through the rough times without his help. At times, I stop and thank God for blessing me with a doctor that saved my life. Sometimes I don’t know how I am going to get through the next 21 years without his help. I always hoped he would treat my kids from the get-go just like he did with me. He was a blessing that was taken too soon. I miss him and wish he were still here. He will always be remembered in my life as a God-send and a life giver. My thoughts and prayers and with the LaViola family.

Amber Payne

8/28/13 – “I Have a Dream”

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In case you have never read the whole thing….Here you go! 🙂 

Martin Luther King’s “I Have a Dream” speech, August 28, 1963

 

I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.

Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon of hope to millions of slaves, who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity. But one hundred years later, the colored America is still not free. One hundred years later, the life of the colored American is still sadly crippled by the manacle of segregation and the chains of discrimination.

One hundred years later, the colored American lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the colored American is still languishing in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land So we have come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.

In a sense we have come to our Nation’s Capital to cash a check. When the architects of our great republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir.

This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed to the inalienable rights of life liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given its colored people a bad check, a check that has come back marked “insufficient funds.”

But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. So we have come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and security of justice.

We have also come to his hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of Now. This is not time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism.

Now is the time to make real the promise of democracy.

Now it the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice.

Now it the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood.

Now is the time to make justice a reality to all of God’s children.

It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment and to underestimate the determination of its colored citizens. This sweltering summer of the colored people’s legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end but a beginning. Those who hope that the colored Americans needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual.

There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the colored citizen is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.

We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities.

We cannot be satisfied as long as the colored person’s basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one.

We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their selfhood and robbed of their dignity by signs stating “for white only.”

We cannot be satisfied as long as a colored person in Mississippi cannot vote and a colored person in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote.

No, we are not satisfied and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of your trials and tribulations. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by storms of persecutions and staggered by the winds of police brutality.

You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.

Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our modern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed.

Let us not wallow in the valley of despair. I say to you, my friends, we have the difficulties of today and tomorrow.

I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed. We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal.

I have a dream that one day out in the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slaveowners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by their character.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interpostion and nullification; that one day right down in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be engulfed, every hill shall be exalted and every mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plains and the crooked places will be made straight and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together.

This is our hope. This is the faith that I will go back to the South with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope.

With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood.

With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to climb up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

This will be the day when all of God’s children will be able to sing with new meaning “My country ’tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my father’s died, land of the Pilgrim’s pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring!”

And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true. So let freedom ring from the hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York.

Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania.

Let freedom ring from the snow-capped Rockies of Colorado.

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California.

But not only that, let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia.

Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi and every mountainside.

When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every tenement and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God’s children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old spiritual, “Free at last, free at last. Thank God Almighty, we are free at last.”

Prepared by Gerald Murphy (The Cleveland Free-Net – aa300) Distributed by the Cybercasting Services Division of the National Public Telecomputing Network (NPTN).

8/23/13 – You must work, we must all work, to make the world worthy of its children

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“Each second we live is a new and unique moment of the universe, a moment that will never be again And what do we teach our children? We teach them that two and two make four, and that Paris is the capital of France. When will we also teach them what they are? We should say to each of them: Do you know what you are? You are a marvel. You are unique. In all the years that have passed, there has never been another child like you. Your legs, your arms, your clever fingers, the way you move. You may become a Shakespeare, a Michelangelo  a Beethoven. You have the capacity for anything. Yes, you are a marvel. And when you grow up, can you then harm another who is, like you, a marvel? You must work, we must all work, to make the world worthy of its children.” – Pablo Casals

8/16/13 -“An Apology to All of My Weight Loss Clients” by Iris Higgins

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 “…And that’s mostly why I’m sorry. Because I’ve been played for years, and so have you, and inadvertently, I fed into the lies you’ve been told your whole life. The lies that say that being healthy means nothing unless you are also thin. The lies that say that you are never enough, that your body is not a beautiful work of art, but rather a piece of clay to be molded by society’s norms until it becomes a certain type of sculpture. And even then, it is still a work in progress.” – Iris Higgins

This may be long but I PROMISE you it is worth the read!

 

An Open Apology to All of My Weight Loss Clients

By Iris Higgins from Huffington Post

Weight Loss

I worked at a popular weight loss company for three years. I loved my job there. I LOVED my clients. I loved making a connection and sharing my knowledge. And I learned a lot about nutrition, about dieting and weight loss and what works and what doesn’t. My job was to be a weight loss consultant, and I learned that job very well. I can design a 1,200 calorie meal plan, tell you which activities are most likely to make the number on the scale go down, and how many carbs are in a cup of rice. I can talk the diet game like it’s my business… because it was. Volumize with vegetables. Don’t go too long in between meals. Start with a bowl of broth-based soup. Are you drinking enough water? Did you exercise enough? Did you exercise too much? Let’s look at your food journal.

This is not an anti-weight loss company post (although I could write that too). It’s a letter to each and every woman that I unknowingly wronged. My heart is beating a little bit faster as I write this, and so I know this needs to be said. The words have been playing in my head for months. Sometimes it just takes time for me to get up the courage to say the right thing.

So here goes:

Dear Former Weight Loss Clients (you know who you are):

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry because I put you on a 1,200 calorie diet and told you that was healthy. I’m sorry because when you were running 5x a week, I encouraged you to switch from a 1,200 calorie diet to a 1,500 calorie diet, instead of telling you that you should be eating a hell of a lot more than that. I’m sorry because you were breastfeeding and there’s no way eating those 1,700 calories a day could have been enough for both you and your baby. I’m sorry because you were gluten intolerant and so desperate to lose weight that you didn’t put that on your intake form. But you mentioned it to me later, and I had no idea the damage you were doing to your body. I’m sorry because I think I should have known. I think I should have been educated better before I began to tell all of you what was right or wrong for your body.

I’m sorry because I made you feel like a failure and so you deliberately left a message after the center had closed, telling me you were quitting. I thought you were awesome and gorgeous, and I’m sorry because I never told you that. I’m sorry because you came in telling me you liked to eat organic and weren’t sure about all the chemicals in the food, and I made up some BS about how it was a “stepping stone.” I’m sorry because many of you had thyroid issues and the LAST thing you should have been doing was eating a gluten-filled, chemically-laden starvation diet. I’m sorry because by the time I stopped working there, I wouldn’t touch that food, yet I still sold it to you.

I’m sorry because it’s only years later that I realize just how unhealthy a 1,200 calorie diet was. I stayed on a 1,200-1,500 calorie diet for years, so I have the proof in myself. Thyroid issues, mood swings, depression, headaches… oh and gluten intolerance that seemed to “kick in” after about a month of eating the pre-packaged food. Was it a coincidence? Maybe.

I’m sorry because you had body dysmorphic disorder, and it was so painful to hear the things you said about yourself. You looked like a model, and all of my other clients were intimidated by you, asked me why you were there because clearly you didn’t need to lose weight. And yet you would sit in my office and cry, appalled that a man might see you naked and be disturbed by the fat that didn’t actually exist. I’m sorry because you should have been seeing a therapist, not a weight loss consultant.

I’m sorry because you were young and so beautiful and only there because your mother thought you needed to lose weight. And because there were too many of you like that. Girls who knew you were fine, but whose mothers pushed that belief out of you until you thought like she did. Until you thought there was something wrong with you. And the one time I confronted your mother, you simply got switched to a different consultant. I think I should have made more of a stink, but I didn’t. I’m sorry because you were in high school and an athlete, and I pray that you weren’t screwed up by that 1,500 calorie diet. Seriously, world? Seriously? A teenage girl walks in with no visible body fat and lots of muscle tone, tells you she’s a runner and is happy with her weight… but her mother says she’s fat and has to lose weight and so we help her do just that. As an individual, as women, as a company, hell, as a nation, we don’t stand up for that girl? What is wrong with us? There ain’t nothing right about that. Nothing.

I’m sorry because every time you ate something you “shouldn’t” or ate more than you “should,” I talked about “getting back on the bandwagon.” I cringe now every time someone uses that phrase. When did the way we eat become a bandwagon? When did everyone stop eating and become professional dieters? I’m sorry because I get it now. If you’re trying to starve your body by eating fewer calories than it needs, of course it’s going to fight back. I used to tell you that then, when you wanted to eat less than 1,200 calories a day. The problem was, I thought 1,200 was enough. I thought that was plenty to support a healthy body. Why did I believe that for so long? I’m sorry because I wasn’t trying to trick you or play games to get your money. I believed the lies we were fed as much as you did.

And it wasn’t just the company feeding them to me. It was the doctors and registered dietitians on the medical advisory board. It was the media and magazines confirming what I was telling my clients. A palm-sized portion of lean chicken with half a sweet potato and a salad was PLENTY. No matter that you had “cravings” afterward. Cravings are a sign of underlying emotional issues. Yeah, sure they are. I’m a hypnotherapist with a past history of binge eating disorder. I KNOW cravings are a sign of underlying emotional issues. Except when they’re not. Except when they’re a sign that your body needs more food and you’re ignoring it. Then they’re a sign that your 1,200 calorie diet is horseshit. Then they’re a sign that you’ve been played.

And that’s mostly why I’m sorry. Because I’ve been played for years, and so have you, and inadvertently, I fed into the lies you’ve been told your whole life. The lies that say that being healthy means nothing unless you are also thin. The lies that say that you are never enough, that your body is not a beautiful work of art, but rather a piece of clay to be molded by society’s norms until it becomes a certain type of sculpture. And even then, it is still a work in progress.

I owe you an apology, my former client and now friend, who I helped to lose too much weight. Who I watched gain the weight back, plus some. Because that’s what happens when you put someone on a 1,200 calorie diet. But I didn’t know. If you’re reading this, then I want you to know that you have always been beautiful. And that all these fad diets are crap meant to screw with your metabolism so that you have to keep buying into them. I think now that I was a really good weight loss consultant. Because I did exactly what the company wanted (but would never dare say). I helped you lose weight and then gain it back, so that you thought we were the solution and you were the failure. You became a repeat client and we kept you in the game. I guess I did my job really well.

And now I wonder, did I do more harm than good? When I left, you all wrote me cards and sent me flowers. I still have those cards, the ones that tell me how much I helped you, how much I cared. But I’m friends with some of you on Facebook now, and I look at your photos and you look happy. And beautiful. And not because you lost weight since I saw you last. But because I see YOU now. You. Not a client sitting in my chair, asking for my assistance in becoming what society wants. But you, a smart and lovely woman, who really doesn’t need some random company telling her there’s something wrong with her.

So I’m sorry because when you walked in to get your meal plan, I should have told you that you were beautiful. I should have asked you how you FELT. Were you happy? Did you feel physically fit? Were you able to play with your kids? There were so many of you who never needed to lose a pound, and some of you who could have gained some. And maybe sometimes I told you that. But not enough. Not emphatically. Because it was my job to let you believe that making the scale go down was your top priority. And I did my job well.

I am sorry because many of you walked in healthy and walked out with disordered eating, disordered body image, and the feeling that you were a “failure.” None of you ever failed. Ever. I failed you. The weight loss company failed you. Our society is failing you.

Just eat food. Eat real food, be active, and live your life. Forget all the diet and weight loss nonsense. It’s really just that. Nonsense.

And I can’t stop it. But I can stop my part in it. I won’t play the weight loss game anymore. I won’t do it to my body, and I won’t help you do it to yours. That’s it. End game.

This post originally appeared on Your Fairy Angel.

 

 

8/15/13 – Never chase love, affection or attention

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“Never chase love, affection, or attention. If it isn’t given freely by another person, it isn’t worth having.” – Unknown

Man, I read this now and wonder why no one told us this as little girls and teenagers haha We would have saved a lot of time running after the boys 😉 Funny enough, at 30 years it makes more sense than ever. I think this applies to both personal and professional relationships. Why do we want to force anyone to be in our presence or care about us? I only want to be surrounded by people that genuinely want to be a part of my life because I somehow make theirs better and/or more complete. Forced love, affection and attention isn’t worth having, like the quote says. It’s just not natural and what isn’t natural is uncomfortable. Why waste this short life uncomfortable around those that don’t naturally want to give you what you need to make YOU better and more complete?

Did you ever think that you are chasing love, affection and attention from others because you are lacking it within yourself? Hmm…I think that we need to spend more time and energy chasing within…loving ourselves, showing ourselves affection and giving ourselves much needed personal attention! We might just find that the answers to our own needs already lie within us, requiring no external chase at all.

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“The sexiest thing in the entire world is being really smart, and being thoughtful and being generous. Everything else is crap. I promise you. It’s just crap that people try to sell to you to make you feel like less. So don’t buy it. Be smart, be thoughtful and be generous.” – Ashton Kutcher

I know I won’t be the first person to share this today, and that’s actually a GREAT thing because this is an AWESOME message! On Facebook last night I started to see comments about what an amazing speech Ashton Kutcher gave at the Teen Choice Awards. I must say, I was a little shocked, so I did a little Google to see what all the fuss was about. Well, FUSS AWAY Facebook, you are right! This is only a clip from the speech but it’s the part that really hit home to me. Preach on Ashton, I like where you are going with this 🙂 And to the rest of you, “Be smart, be thoughtful and be generous!”

It’s funny…I was going to share the quote below a few weeks back but never got around to it. It definitely applies today!

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8/14/13 – Beautiful words from…Ashton Kutcher?

8/3/13 – My track record

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“On particularly rough days when I’m sure I can’t possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that’s pretty good.” – Vinny Genovesi

Please don’t get the wrong idea from this quote, I’m not having a rough or bad day. To be honest, I’m having a quite wonderful day considering it’s only 10am.  I just think this is a wonderful reminder. I actually like to remind myself of quotes like this when I’m have good days to keep myself grounded; To remind myself that the good come with the bad.  It’s funny how one day can seem impossible to get through and then the next is so good you don’t want it to end. I suppose we need a good mix to remind us to be grateful for all we have.

So far I have a pretty good track record of 100%…It could be SO MUCH worse! 😉

While I have this platform I’d like to request some energy, thoughts and support for so many important people in my life right now that are going through their fair share of struggles and pain. I hate when perspective comes from the darkest of circumstances but I guess that’s what I meant above…it’s the bad that gives us perspective of the good.

Today….be grateful! EVERY DAY…be grateful!

Vinny Quote