And with this, I wish you all a WONDERFUL weekend!
– Kurt Vonnegut
“Often the people around you – particularly those who know you well – can see things you can’t. I think this makes it particularly worthwhile to seek their views, and to listen and learn from them. Nobody can tell you how you feel, of course, nor can they tell you how you SHOULD feel. They may, however, be able to see things that you can’t…Therapists do this professionally. Really good friends do it for each other.” – Jon, Moodscope.com
I like to run my life and life situations by my friends on a daily basis. I’m impulsive and I know it and reaching out for input from those that know me best helps me to come to the most thought out and rational decisions. My friends are the best, none of them tell me how I SHOULD feel, they just help me see things from a different perspective. Their viewpoints usually come from a place of total emotional detachment from the situation and this is ALWAYS what I need. I need a friend that knows me so well on a normal day that they can help me to make sane decisions on emotional ones. If not, I will make decisions in the moment that I could possibly regret and look back on later wondering, “Why didn’t you just take time to breathe and calm down before making that decision?”
So, to ALL of you, and you ALL know who you are, THANK YOU for being my sounding boards, for listening to me when I’m a basket case and for helping me to see things from a different angle, a different place, through the eyes of the sane ME when I’m not capable.
A little diddy for you linked below from Paul and Ringo 😉
“Our environment, the world in which we live and work, is a mirror of our attitudes and expectations.” — Earl Nightingale
by Dennis Merritt Jones
Once upon a time, a traveler from a far and distant town approached a wise man that was just leaving the city into which the traveler was entering. The traveler stopped the wise man and said, “Can you tell me about the city from whence you have just come? What is the quality and character of the citizens here?” The wise man replied, “First stranger, tell me: What were the people like in the last town you visited?” The traveler replied, “Oh, they were a cold bunch of people with no kind words for anyone. It was not a happy town; they were very judgmental and the people were mean-spirited and unwelcoming. I couldn’t get out of that town fast enough.” The wise man paused and then replied, “Ahhh… I believe you will discover that the citizens of this town are exactly the same.” A short distance further down the road, the wise man encountered another distant traveler entering the city. And likewise, the traveler asked the same question of the wise man, saying, “What is the quality and character of the citizens of this city, sir?” Again, the wise man replied, “First stranger, tell me: What were the people like in the last town you visited?” The traveler replied, “Oh, they were an amazing group of people! They were outgoing and friendly and welcomed me with open arms. They were unconditionally loving and I felt like each one was my brother or sister… Oh, I miss them greatly.” The wise man paused and then replied, “Ahhh… I believe you will discover that the citizens of this town are exactly the same.”
I am uncertain of the origin of this story, but it makes the point very well, doesn’t it? Life tends to respond to our outlook. It shapes itself to meet our expectations, which are birthed in our consciousness. In the words of author Jon Kabat-Zinn, “Wherever you go, there you are.” In other words, wherever you go on the journey called life, you project your attitude and expectations ahead of you, and life can only be a divine reflector of your consciousness, drawing to you the people, events, and circumstances that reflect what you expect to find when you get there. You might keep this in mind the next time you go to that party or business meeting with people you may feel less than loving toward, or the next time you speak with that ex-spouse or the next time you go into any other environment where, until now, you may have generally expected the worst from people rather than the best. The secret of the ages is to learn to have great expectations with a very low attachment to the outcome. If you can achieve this, you will discover what true inner peace means.
What I have discovered is that what I expect from others is generally what I get. People most often live up to or down to the level that I expect. Why? Because the energy that I radiate (broadcast) can only draw to me more of the same. On a very practical level, give some thought to this principle before you take off on a vacation, walk into the post office or the grocery store, and most certainly before you enter your home. What will you expect your experience to be? Because as any wise man (or woman) knows, you will find the people there to be exactly like you expect them to be. What will you expect of others? Start with yourself: What is the character and quality of the person who lives in your skin? Ahhh… as within, so without, yes?
As a mindfulness practice, consider the following:
Note: This writing is an excerpt from my book, The Art of Being ~ 101 Ways to Practice Purpose in Your Life. Used with permission of the publisher.
Article is Linked Below as well:
“Our essential nature is completely free. At the basic level of our being, we are “empty” of definable characteristics. We aren’t defined by our past, our present, or our thoughts and feelings about the future. We have the potential to experience anything.”
Self awareness is a wonderful thing but also one of the hardest things to acheive. This is so true, we have the potential to experience ANYTHING! We are not defined the past, present or future. I think a lot of the times I hold myself back thinking that I’m not able, or comfortable, or it’s not “my thing” because of “xyz” that I have or haven’t done before, it’s just “not me”. And then I have to remind myself that I DO have the potential to experience any and everything that I want 🙂 There is no rule book to my life, I create the rules, I label and finish each chapter.
Small moments like this of self awareness are GREAT and always makes me feel like I can exhale, if that makes sense. The only person holding me back is ME, and if I could just control Lauren that would be fantastic! My priest did tell me during confession in the 2nd grade that I had a self control problem…I guess some things never change, but I better start trying to change them. Ha, since I AM the one with that control 😉
When all is said and done, it doesn’t matter who others ‘think’ you are. Who do YOU think you are?
You chose the life that you have right now. Your choices have all led you to be exactly where you are at this very moment. While there certainly are uncontrollable parts about life, the reality is that the majority of your life is the direct result of the decisions you have or haven’t made.
Because your choices ultimately accumulate to create the trajectory of your life, you have no one to thank or blame but yourself.
So stop complaining. Stop whining. Do you really think that no one else is going through what you’re going through? Do you really think you have it more difficult than everyone around you?
You wanted success. So now you are dealing with the challenges that are required to achieve success.
You wanted a family. Now you have the blessings and the responsibilities of raising a family.
You put that in your body. Now you get to live with the consequence.
You made that purchase. Now you get to be responsible for paying the price.
You said those words. Now you can never take them back.
So why is it then that you complain? Why do you vent your frustrations to the world about how hard you have it? About how busy you are? Why do you allow yourself to indulge in the self-centeredness that nobody else understands your situation?
Stop it. Because you’re stressing me out.
It’s time to let all of that go.
It’s time to start making the choice that you are going to be a person who rises above the stress, above the pain, above the fatigue. You are going to be a person that is stronger than your circumstances and bigger than your weaknesses. You are going to be a person who is capable and powerful and decided.
Today, you are going to be a person who chooses that it is not worth worrying and not worth complaining.
You can do it. Just remind yourself…
1. Say thank you
You’re either choosing to be thankful for what you do have or you are worrying about what you don’t have. You have incredible blessings all around; look for them.
2. Think long-term
Your problems are so big but only in the context of today. You’ll barely remember them next week. You’ll forget them within the year. Over time it’s never as bad as it sounds or as good as it seems, it it?
3. You’re on the right track
You should know by now that the bigger the goals you set, the bigger the problems you’ll be forced to faced. Don’t complain about them; embrace them.
Complaining doesn’t change anything.
So go. Do something. And stop complaining. Because you’re above that.
(This is what I wrote to myself this morning. Hope you don’t mind me sharing.)
I really needed some insight into understanding, recognizing, accepting and celebrating differences these past few days. The following quotes have really helped to open eyes when I need it the most.
“When men and women are able to respect and accept their differences then love has a chance to blossom.” – John Gray
“Our greatest strength as a human race is our ability to acknowledge our differences, our greatest weakness is our failure to embrace them.” – Judith Henderson
“I know there is strength in the differences between us. I know there is comfort where we overlap.” – Ani DiFranco
“It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept and celebrate those differences.” – Audre Lorde
“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.”
– Khalil Gibran
I love this quote as I do Khalil Gibran. I found the article “Suffering and the Soul” and have taken the paragraphs that really stuck with me and shared them below that go hand in hand with Gibran’s statement. I could never say it better than this if I tried. I have linked the FULL article to the title heading below 🙂 Enjoy!
by Dr Judith Rich
“To the ego, mistakes are failures. To the soul, there are no mistakes and there are no failures. There is only learning. The soul is here for the distinct purpose of unfolding its agenda in its earthly expression. Whatever is required for its evolution is grist for the mill and is taken on without consideration of the ego’s suffering that may result…
To paraphrase Thomas Moore, author of Care of the Soul, there is no fixing or curing required for the soul, only caring. We must learn to live with a conscious awareness of what our individual soul requires for its full expression. This will most certainly require that we learn how to live with pain, both emotional and physical, for when a soul loses its way, it is because we, the human host, have lost our way. Pain is the soul’s alarm system that we’re off track and that attention and care are required…
Seen through the filter of cultural conditioning and ego, suffering appears horrific. Seen through the eyes of the soul, pain and suffering are paths to deepening. Suffering can take us to our knees and strip us bare of all illusions. It is here that the ego is forced to give up denial and stand face-to-face with the driver of its destiny. It may be that only through a total surrender of ego, in which a person may appear to be completely broken or lost, that one can truly find one’s way to truth.
We cannot know the gifts suffering provides to the soul’s evolution. This is part of the mystery of the soul we must live with. Human nature abhors mystery. We want certainty and predictability. Cultivating the ability to live with uncertainty and learning to live in the mystery are ways of taking care of the soul for it thrives in the mists of uncertainty where all possibilities exist.
Sometimes the soul can only find release through suffering and ultimately, physical death. For the soul, physical death is not the end of its journey, but a passage to the next classroom. To the soul, there are no summer vacations. School is always in session.
“I must learn to love the fool in me–the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of my human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my Fool.” ― Theodore Isaac Rubin
“Be With Someone Who Makes You Happy!”
Best quote I’ve seen in awhile. Every time I get into a relationship I struggle to be responsible for my own happiness. I’m not sure why it happens, but it’s like I have amnesia and forget how to do it. I need to look at this everyday! I am the ONLY person who can make myself happy!
Be the “SOMEONE” that makes you happy. It is your responsibility!
“At first glance it may appear too hard…look again…always look again.” – Mary Anne Rodmacher
I’ve had 4 root canals, 2 knee surgeries, emergency gallbladder surgery and a shoulder surgery all before the age of 30. And now I will add another knee surgery to the list. This was my inner dialogue this morning. Where am I now?
NOW, I STOP WHINING!
Oh well, tough, get over it…that’s what I’m saying in my head. Get over it, Lauren! There a million things in this life that are tougher than what I’ve been through, tougher than I can even imagine for that matter. This morning, when reality finally hit me that I couldn’t put off this surgery any longer, it appeared hard! Not just hard, but defeating! Until a friend of mine said, “Stop being a defeatist.” And she was right! All I was doing was sitting there thinking to myself how hard it was going to be, how defeated I was, all the mountains it was going to create for me to climb, instead of trying to figure out how I was going to overcome them. I forgot about all the support that I have and how strong I truly am.
Look at the little girl below….When things appear too hard, look at this sweet girl, then look at your problems again and realize that you got this. It’s tough? Well, GET OVER IT! Stay strong, defeat your problems, don’t let them defeat you. Draw the “hair” and “bow” on your “mountain” 🙂