“Nothing makes a woman more beautiful more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful.” – Sophia Loren

“Work for a cause, NOT for applause. Live life to express, NOT to impress. Don’t strive to make your presence noticed, just make your absence felt.” – Unknown

I had never heard this quote until today…it brought me to tears! I don’t know if you have a Superman in your life, or maybe you just haven’t thought of someone that way, but I know that I do. Who is my Superman? Eddie Livingston. I’m sorry, let me rephrase, Super Eddie! I work for a non-profit, as many of you know, and, if you don’t, please check us out at http://www.COREgives.org and read Eddie’s story there. Let me start by saying that I love ALL of the children that we are able to support and they will all hold a special place in my heart for as long as I live. That being said, Eddie is different. I got the opportunity to meet Eddie and his beautiful family and gift them face-to-face. I have never had a more gratifying experience in my life. No one was there to see it but me, my Chairman and his beautiful wife, Santa and the Livingston family. There weren’t any professional cameras, there was no pomp and circumstance, no one really even knew I was there. We don’t do what we do for applause, we don’t do it to impress and we don’t strive to make our presence noticed. We do what we do for a cause, to express our love and support and to make our absence felt. I know that we accomplished that this past December in the Livingston home on a hot day with Santa and his “sleigh” (truck) at our side. That’s what it was about.

What I don’t think the Livingston family know is how much of an impact they had on me that day and still continue to have. I don’t think Eddie will truly understand what I have learned from him and his battle. I am FOR SURE that Eddie’s mother and father and siblings have no clue how inspiring their strength and spirit have been to me since that day. Eddie’s mother posted on Eddie “Superman” Livingston’s Facebook page today. The doctor said his scans were disappointing. My heart just melted. Not my Superman, that’s not fair. I can only hope for a cure to be found and for his health to improve, I can’t fix that for him. But I hope that I did do what I AM able to do. I hope that I expressed my love and support and gratitude as well as I possibly could. I hope that my absence, as well as the absence of my Chairman and his wife (and Santa) was felt shortly after we left the family’s home, and hope that for just thirty minutes the Livingston family was able to forget about their struggles and feel unconditional love and support.

I work for this cause because it completes me. It really does. I believe in it to my core (no pun intended) and I believe in my Superman and his family. A family so selfless, that while in the midst of their battle found the time to send ME a get well gift after my knee surgery. Eddie is a fighter and I have felt his absence since I walked out of his front door last December. I’ve learned more from a 4 year old and his spirit than I’ve learned from any class I’ve ever taken. I may have the opportunity to work for an official cause, but we can ALL work towards causes of our own that mean so much. And while CORE may work every day to help these children that truly need our support, I feel that I may be benefiting the most from these inspirational  individuals, their families and their stories. So, thank you! And beat cancer’s butt, Eddie!

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.

It turns what we have into enough, and more.

It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity.

It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.

Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

– Melody Beattie

Throughout the day I try to constantly remind myself to be grateful for ALL I have. Until I read this this morning I don’t think I could have put into words why it was so important: Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. This is so true. Life itself is a gift, the most important gift, and, for that, we should be grateful. Everything else that comes with it is just icing on the cake. In a society that has learned to be materialistic and always want MORE, I think it’s important for all of us to remember that we have ENOUGH and when we are grateful for all we have, this state of contentment will unveil the beauty of life in it all.

I love the way that Melody Beattie words this, it’s perfect. So, today, as with every day, I am grateful. I think my favorite part is, “It can turn…a stranger into a friend.” I tend to try and look at all strangers that way and to remind myself to be grateful to meet someone new that has seen the world differently than I have. There is so much to learn from new “friends.” Calling them strangers closes us off from parts of the world we have never experienced, why not be open to strangers and grateful for the chance to see parts of the world we may never get to see? If you get anything from this I hope that you walk away with the line about gratitude turning strangers into friends. I think it’s so important to be open to others and what they can teach us. Be grateful for those interactions that you couldn’t have if you didn’t have life 🙂 Why must we always yearn for more? If we reflect on the basics of what we do have, I think we can truly see how beautiful life is and how grateful we should be for just that.

“Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving. When we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as a means of escape.” – Bell Hooks

I haven’t posted in over a week because life has just gotten so busy. I wanted to share a quote that really resonates with me but I don’t have time to speak to it today. Hopefully it speaks volumes on its own.

The first thing I do every morning is pull a quote out of my quote box that I got from my girls for my 30th birthday. This morning was no different. After a night of tears and a walk down memory lane, I woke up more tired than usual with swollen eyes and a noticeable sadness in my heart. and reached for my quote. I don’t think it could have been put any better:

“I will greet this day with love in my heart.

And how will I do this?

Henceforth will I look on all things with love and be born again.

I will love the sun for it warms my bones;

Yet I will love the rain for it cleanses my spirit.

I will love the light for it shows me the way;

Yet I will love the darkness for it shows me the stars.

I will welcome happiness as it enlarges by heart;

Yet I will endure sadness for it opens my soul.

I will acknowledge rewards for they are my due;

Yet I will welcome obstacles for they are my challenge.”

– Og Mandino

This is how I will greet this day. For today is a whole different day than it was yesterday. Today is a new day and I’m reminded more than ever that life is short and that I must count my blessings, loving all the gifts life brings my way no matter how they present themselves. From the sun to the rain, the light to the darkness, happiness to sadness and rewards to obstacles, all of these things help to create me and my life and, today, I am grateful for all of them and I will greet this day with love in my heart.

Yesterday, my community at home in Georgia suffered the loss of a wonderful man way too soon. Yesterday our Brookwood community said goodbye to Ryan Figlestahler, better known as Fig. It seems like decades ago I walked into my first day at Five Forks Middle School, a transplant from a rival school crossing the line to Brookwood to attend the school my mother taught at. Other than those I spent my summers with growing up at River Oak, I knew very few people. The 8th grade is a tough place to introduce yourself to a new group of people that have grown up together. With my best friend at my side, my 8th grade year began and Fig was one of the first few to make me feel at home. Maybe it’s because he was my best friend’s ex and first boyfriend, or maybe it was because his mother also worked at the school, either way, he did. And so my middle school crush began haha I “loved” Fig so much that he even made the list that I had on the inside of my bedroom door (with permanent marker I might add…sorry, Mom!). Don’t ask me why, but starting around age 10 I found it necessary to Sharpie a list down the inside of my door with “I …” and their appropriate initials. Alas, Fig, #56 if I remember correctly, never “loved” me back. It’s funny how those middle school crushes don’t seem to pan out 😉 From that year on we remained friends. He was always such a kind soul and could make anyone laugh. His smile and energy were contagious and I can still hear his voice in my head to this day and see him dancing in the hall outside Mrs. Laney’s room. Over the years since high school we kept in touch via Facebook and through our moms. We had chats every couple of months catching up, I would wish him well wishes on his fight with this monster he was battling and we would always comment back and forth on statuses and photos; bickering about college football and the sort.

When I heard the news last night of Ryan’s passing I was stopped dead in my tracks. The past few months I’ve focused on my own battles: physical, emotional and professional. My problems seemed so big to me and work deadlines last night had me stressed out. All of a sudden though, my problems didn’t matter any more. My work, although maybe late, would still be here today, and the world would go on regardless; mine would at least. Although I walked in pain, I would still be able to walk. And, although the pain of losing my father sometimes seemed harder to battle than others, I was going to be okay. What mattered was that a 30 year old friend lost his life too soon. That a young man from an amazing family, was taken from them and his new fiance in the blink of an eye. That one of the tightest group of young men I know, lost one of their best friends. That a community, that I’m more than proud to be a part of, lost one of their own. That’s what mattered. As I cried with my mother and then with my best friend over a few phone calls, I kept a constant eye on social media as the love and thoughts and prayers of HUNDREDS began to poor in. It takes an amazing individual to have this kind of affect. My news feed, from top to bottom, was FULL of so much love and energy and unity. I was blown away! It was in this moment that my sympathetic heart began to fill with love and memories and I felt the strongest connection I have in years to HOME.

Who knew that when I walked into a new middle school 17 to 18 years ago I was walking into such a tight knit and unified community. Is anyone else from Brookwood in awe of the love and support being given to the Figlestahler family? It’s beautiful and it’s inspiring and such a testament to my faith in humanity.

Thank you, Ryan Fig, for showing us all how to live and how to fight. Thank you Mrs. Fig for always loving us girls (and guys for that matter, but I can’t speak for you) like we were your own and for loving my mother like you do and for always being there for her. Thank you, Figlestahler family, for being a piece of the Brookwood puzzle. Such a large piece that represents the love that this community has for its members. It’s been 12 years since we crossed that stage at BHS, we have all moved on with our lives, grown up and become adults. Many of us have families of our own and we all have our own day to day battles that we face. But at the end of the day, when one of our own struggles and is taken from us too soon, we come back together. Oh how I am grateful for Social Media today. Some days it may seem juvenile,  but when used appropriately it can take those that have been separated by the different roads of life and bring them back “home”.

Thank you, Brookwood, for welcoming me so many years ago and for teaching me what it’s like to belong to something bigger. Thank you for being so full of love and for not being afraid to share it with the world. Ryan Fig, only you could bring a class of almost 700 people together again this way. For that, I am grateful. I’m not grateful for the circumstance, but grateful for the reminder of what really matters in life. We will always love you and we will ALL be there for your family for the rest of their days as they mourn your loss and celebrate your life.

This is a photo of Ryan I found in his Facebook photos as I was digging through to find a photo that is a perfect representation of him and his personality.  Dance on, Fig!

“It’s makes me happy to know that none of us get a how-to guide. We’re all just kind of winging it.”

I wonder a lot of the time, “Am I doing this right? Is this what I’m supposed to do in life? At what age should I be doing x,y and z?” And then I re-read this quote (which is saved in my camera roll) and I feel SO much better! What a great reminder, huh? No one in this world gets a how-to guide for life, we all are really just winging it. When I remember that, I’m relieved. It also reminds me not to compare my life to the lives of others, because no one is doing it “right” or “wrong” per se, we are all just doing what we can and what is “right” or “wrong” for us as individuals. When you think of it this way, we are all creating our own, individual “how-to” guides as the days go by and once our guides are done, they get tossed in the trash. Once we have finished our journeys in this world, our how-to guides then become how-we did guides and no one will ever have the same journey as us, making our guides useless once we pass on. Day by day, experience by experience, our journeys create our guides, there is no guide that creates our journeys.

“Safety and security don’t just happen, they are the result of collective consensus and public investment. We owe our children, the most vulnerable citizens in our society, a life free of violence and fear.” – Nelson Mandela

I’ve thought a lot since the incidents at yesterday’s Boston Marathon and my thoughts are all over the map, they go in circles and there are too many feelings and emotions to wrap my mind around. I can’t comprehend the levels of hate that some people are capable of. I can’t imagine ever hurting ANY ONE. I can’t fathom the pain and emptiness that some people must feel to their core to be able to commit such crimes like happened yesterday. And I hope that I never feel so lost and alone that I lose the ability to care for other human beings other than myself.

But the one thing that I DO know for sure is that the children of our world deserve better than this. They deserve to grow up in a peaceful world, free of violence and war, without fear of what may be lurking behind any corner, without fear of strangers and the unknown. They deserve to be loved and to know love like it’s their best friend. They deserve to be taught about the good in people and how to accept and care about all of humanity.

I don’t have the answers of how to fix hate in this world, I’m not sure that any one does, but I do know that if those of us that are full of love continue to spread that love and good energy that we can have an affect on those that cross our paths. And if those that cross our paths continue to spread that same love and energy, it will get us somewhere better than where we are now.

If only our nation could come together every day like they do post tragedies, oh the power we could have! For now, I will just continue to do my part!

“Perhaps the secret of living well is not in having all the answers but in pursuing unanswerable questions in good company.” – Rachel Naomi Remen

Ain’t that the truth! I don’t have much to add to this blog post today except to say, get out and see the world with good company. We may never get all of our questions answered but I think the answer to unasked questions comes in their pursuit. When you set out seeking answers to the unknown, so many other things can be learned in the process. It’s a beautiful place out there with so much to teach us!

There is one book in this world that I have found so far that ALWAYS has a quote for my mood and my emotions….Thank you, Elizabeth Gilbert, for giving us your story through “Eat, Pray, Love”. Such a beautiful gift that I carry with me daily. Today, it was just what I needed…again 😉

 “At some point, as Richard keeps telling me, you gotta let go and sit still and allow contentment to come to you.
Letting go, of course, is a scary enterprise for those of us who believe that the world revolves only because it has a handle on the top of it which we personally turn, and that if we were to drop this handle for even a moment, well – that would be the end of the universe. But try dropping it….Sit quietly for now and cease your relentless participation. Watch what happens. The birds do not crash dead out of the sky in mid-flight, after all. The trees do not wither and die, the rivers do not run red with blood. Life continues to go on…. Why are you so sure that your micromanagement of every moment in this whole world is so essential? Why don’t you let it be?” 
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

She also says this about letting go and forgiveness that weighs us down. As some have said, it’s the apology we never get that is the most important apology to forgive.

“Offer it up personally,then. Right now. I thought of how many people go to their graves unforgiven and unforgiving. I thought of how many people have had siblings or friends or children or lovers disappear from their lives before precious words of clemency or absolution could be passed along. How do the survivors of terminated relationships ever endure the pain of unfinished business? From that place of meditation, I found the answer-you can finish the business yourself, from within yourself. It’s not only possible, it’s essential.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

“Some day we will find what we are looking for. Or maybe we won’t. Maybe we will find something much greater than that.”