2/18/15 – Own Your Shit

Standard

Elizabeth Gilbert shared this today on Facebook and I felt it re-share/blog worthy! Enjoy! And thanks to Liz as always!

“OWN YOUR SHIT”

“Dear Ones –

Oh how I love this drawing, sent to me last week by a friend of this page who knows me so very well, and who thought I would like it.

Hell yes, I do like it!

The artist is a woman named Carrie Hilgert, Artist . From what I understand, the character shown here is somebody named Myrtle, who, in the words of her creator, “doesn’t give two fucks.”

I love this character. I love Myrtle’s posture, her attitude, her self-assurance. “What Would Myrtle Do?” is perhaps not such a bad question upon which to base your life

One thing I can tell you about Myrtle? SHE OWNS HER SHIT.

You guys, for serious, it’s very important that you learn how to own your shit. At some point in your life, you really have to get honest about the weirdest and most damaged and most broken parts of your existence, and take responsibility for it all…lovingly, but unblinkingly.

Or, as Iyanla Vanzant puts it: “I know my crazy. Do you know your crazy?”

You gotta know your own crazy. Can’t own your shit without knowing your crazy.

For many years, I didn’t own my shit because I didn’t KNOW my shit. If you don’t know your shit, people, then that shit will control you and make your life into Crazy Town. Until you own your shit, all you do is make excuses for the madness that is always surrounding you, while throwing blame around like confetti.

By this point in my life, though, I know the worst of me. I know the triggers that make me into a temporarily insane person. I know my vulnerabilities and my pride. I know the stuff that makes me want to deceive, and the stuff that makes me vindictive, and the stuff that makes me insecure, and the stuff that makes me just flat-out mean and ugly. And I definitely know all my demons by their first names.

This is what therapy does — helps you to learn your shit, inside and out. This is what meditation is for. This is what recovery is for. This is what reconciling the contradictions of your life is for. This is what radical honesty is for. This is what the courage of truthful introspection is for.

Owning your shit begins to happen the moment you finally recognize that the common denominator in all your biggest problems is YOU.

Not them: YOU.

It’s a beautiful, humbling, necessary realization. It’s an education. It’s painful. It’s the beginning of adulthood. It’s pretty much the definition of maturity.

And then you take a deep breath and say, “OK, I admit it. It’s me. That’s my crazy shit. I own it. Now what?”

Then, the work begins.

You might or might not be able to change it, but at least you gotta own it.

That doesn’t mean abusing yourself: it just means taking accountability. Own your shit with love and perspective and self-compassion…but definitely own it.

Don’t worry if other people are owning their shit or not. That isn’t your problem. Just own yours. Keep your side of the street clean and honest, and rest of it is none of your business.

Just be honest and real. Like Myrtle. Who I freaking love.

Please do check out Carrie’s blog, too, where, JOY OF JOYS, you can order this as a t-shirt:

http://carriehilgert.com/2015/02/15/meet-myrtle/

Thank you, Carrie, for this fabulous creation!

Thank you, Myrtle, for being awesome.

ONWARD!

LG”

1/29/15 – Cheers, Parenthood!

Standard

“Do you know what I told my kids every day of their lives? I mean, all four of them, whether I was angry or frustrated or sad or whatever, I… You know what I told them every day? ‘I love you.’ I wanted it to be clear to them, that’s why I told them.” – Zeek Braverman, “Parenthood”

March 2010, six months after the passing of my father, the show “Parenthood” premiered its pilot episode. During a time of my life when I have never felt so lost or so scared, this show became a place of comfort. Watching the raw inner workings of this relatable television family I found somewhere I could go every week and cry. An hour a week when I was allowed to cry and blame it on something else. An hour a week when I didn’t always cry because of what they were going through, rather I cried with them and let out my own tears that I fought to hold in from everyone around me, trying to hide my pain out of fear that I would seem weak. To many of you that will make sense. To many of you this may seem like the wrong way to grieve. But what I learned is that the word grief has no definition and no boundaries. Ever since that night in March, 2010 I have been one of the many that fell in love with the show and became a member of the Braverman family.

The ups and downs that this family has gone through over its six seasons on the air have been so real to me. I’m going to miss my Thursday nights with the Bravermans. I have to say that I’m going to grieve this loss like any other loss in my life. That may seem super cheesy to a lot of people but it’s hard to explain how many parts of this show have paralleled my own life. It has truly found its own special place in my heart.

So here I sit tonight, with a bottle of Veuve Clicquot and a box of tissues, ready to say goodbye to a BEAUTIFUL show that has taught me so much and helped me through more than I can put into words. As Zeek taught us above, tell people you love them EVERY DAY. Make that very clear.

Cheers, “Parenthood”! Thanks for the unconditional support, for being a “friend” to turn to that wouldn’t judge me and for all of the tears over the years. I’m not sure I would have gotten “it” all out without you!

1/12/15 – Our children teach us what life is all about

Standard

“While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.” – Angela Schwindt

Four years ago today I became an aunt. Not an aunt by blood but an #AuntByChoice. This is a title that I am very proud and honored to carry. Since that day my list of “nieces” and “nephews” has continued to grow and with it so has my heart. I don’t love any one of them more than another but I can say that Jackson Blaine McGee, being the first born, opened a part of my heart I never knew existed and gave me the title #AuntieLaLa.

Blaine, I hope that one day I can successfully articulate to you in a way that you understand how much your sweet voice, heart and smile mean to me. You have made so many dark days, bright and you continue to make me prouder and prouder as the days go by. You are so kind and so full of light and love and I am so excited to continue to watch you grow. Oh the places you will go! Happy Birthday, my smurf! Thank you for making me an “Aunt” and for teaching me what life is all about. I think that you are quite possibly the true love of my life! (And I was just kidding yesterday, I know that today isn’t your mom’s birthday, or your dad’s, or Lilly’s…today belongs to you! Oh, and your Aunt Melissa!)

IMG_5384

10/19/14 – I wanna know it in my bones

Standard

“It’s not enough for me to just hear about something or read about something, I wanna know it in my bones.” – Elizabeth Gilbert, Super Soul Sunday

This quote really resonates with me. I can’t tell you how many times a day I Google something I hear or read about in order to know more. I want to know more about everything that I can because I truly want to “know it in my bones”. Elizabeth Gilbert never ceases to speak to me in such a beautiful way.

I’ve been saying since Oprah started “Super Soul Sunday” on the OWN Network that EVERYONE should tune in! Even if you can’t tune in every Sunday morning, you should DVR it like I do. I try as hard as I can to do it every Sunday but my schedule doesn’t always allow this. But when I do, I’m at CHURCH…it’s my time of worship. Elizabeth Gilbert (ironically who was also on one of the episodes I watched today and also the author of today’s quote) says that we should have our own rituals and ceremonies, no matter how big or small. Well “Super Soul Sunday” watching time is just that for me.

My “Super Soul Sunday” Ritual:

– Usually always a Sunday morning

– Hot cup of coffee or tea

– Sitting in my same big, comfy, brown chair

– A notebook and pen set on my lap pillow desk ready to go

I don’t just watch my Sunday SSS service, I am actively involved. I pause when I hear something that strikes me and awakens my mind and/or my soul, rewind to the beginning of what was said, and make sure that I transcribe it word for word how Oprah or her guest said it. Then I take a moment with it, let it sink in, relate it to my own life, and then press play again. I talk aloud during the service a lot. It doesn’t matter that they can’t hear me or respond because I already know that they relate to me as do the thousands of other viewers. It just helps me to vocalize my A-Ha moments, it makes them more impactful for me. There isn’t a time constraint on how long it takes me to get through an episode, I’m not on a clock. Sometimes a one hour episode can take me two hours to get through because I pause, write and reflect so much.

SSS is so enlightening for me and always puts my mind and soul at peace. I have been very stressed lately and very anxious and this mornings 3 episodes were just what I needed. It was an extra big surprise that two of the episodes I had saved were Elizabeth Gilbert, author of my favorite book “Eat, Pray, Love”. The other was Ali MacGraw. I filled 5 pages in my Oprah Lifeclass journal this morning with what I took in from their conversation. For those of you that missed it 😉 I have shared some of what I learned this morning and some of the questions it left me with to answer below:

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” – Anais Nin

 “What am I here to do with my life?” – EG

“Sometimes you have to shape the quest to the reality of your life.” – EG

“There are 3 kinds of women in this world. There are women that are born to be mothers, there are women that are born to be aunties and there are women that shouldn’t be allowed to be within 10ft of a child…You have to figure out which category you should be in and obey that longing. Being a mother is hard enough of a job when you love it.” – EG

“Marriage isn’t just a wedding, it’s all the stuff that comes after it.” – EG

“Turn suffering into grade or it’s just wasted pain.” – EG

When hard things happen in your life ask yourself, “What is this here to teach me? What did I do to make this happen? What was my part in this?”

No matter what I’m gonna be alright.

“It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live a perfect imitation of somebody’s else’s life.” – Bhagavad Gita

There is no happiness without self accountability.

The only weakness to be had is waiting for someone to change your life for you.

“I’m in charge of this soul that was given to me to take care of and I accept 100% accountability for this soul!” – EG

I HIGHLY recommend joining my “service”. My whole life I have had others asking me to follow their religion, give it a shot and to attend their services, and I have. I’m very open-minded and non-judgmental and respect any and all religions and spiritual views. We all have the right to believe whatever we wish and our hearts truly believe in this life. I’ve kept a lot of my views about spirituality, “God” and religion to myself for so long out of fear of judgement and others not understanding my views. I guess this is my turn to ask the same in return that’s been asked of me. Give it a shot! By no means am I asking you to change your religion, that’s silly and I don’t believe in that 😉 Maybe I’m just trying to give many of those in my life a glimpse of how my mind works, what I believe and  how I view my world and spiritual journey. Each episode truly awakes my spiritual being and sheds so much light on this life I was given, shaping my view of the unknown in this world!

10/17/14 – Happy 3 Years, Blog!

Standard

Today marks the 3rd Anniversary of “A Day in My Quote Book”. It’s sort of crazy to think that I started this three years ago. I can’t say that I’ve been as consistently committed to it as I had hoped I would be but, then again, I’m not sure I had a goal for this blog at all. I just knew I wanted to write and I wanted to share that writing with others in hopes that people could find solace and comfort in the shared feelings and ideas of others. That being said, just ONE comment on a post would have been enough. I’m ecstatic to report that in 3 years I have had 265 blog entries, viewed  a total of 38,581 times by people from 155 countries, all the way from Burkina Faso to Mozambique to Serbia to Qatar to China to Cyprus. I’m not sure I can even put into words how awesome it feels to know that I have “connected” with that many people from all over this world! Sure, website statistics for other pages trump this by billions even trillions, but I don’t care. I set out to connect with one other person across this vast planet we live on and it’s beyond humbling.

Now that I’ve gotten that our of my system I suppose I need to share a quote. The pressure of this today has been a lot. I felt like I needed to bring my A game. But that’s not how I write. I have to be inspired by recent life events, I don’t pick quotes at random. So after a long day that ended a long week, I had to dig deep to find a quote that did my soul justice…

 

“After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box.” – Italian Proverb

I was going to pick a quote that expressed my emotional state lately, but that was too deep for tonight. I was going to pick a quote that touched on love or that was about friendship, but for some reason this quote jumped out at me on SO many levels.

I could sit here and type out how it relates to my Leadership Program in my Grad School class and how I think it speaks to my personal leadership theory; I could sit here and type about how I think that our class system in this country is disproportionate; I could sit here and type about equality ; I could sit here and type about power struggles and fear and bullying…but I think I will let you do that on your own based on those prompts. What does it mean to you? How does it make you feel? How will you view the world tomorrow differently based on the answer to both of those questions?

Such a short and simple proverb with such a DEEP meaning! It sort of makes you wanna check your ego at the door, huh? 😉

For those of you that have followed me since the beginning, THANK YOU! For any of you that have given just one post of mine a chance, it means the world. I write for me but I hope that something that I have said has helped you at some point over the last 3 years and I continue to keep on writing. I’m not sure how often I just know that I won’t stop, and that’s the only rule I’m allowing myself to follow on this journey through my Quote Book.

9/25/14 – Our souls make us who we are

Standard

“We must learn that our appearance is not, ultimately, what makes us who we are as people.

Our souls make us who we are.” – Hannah Hilton

First of all, if you don’t follow Elephant Journal on Facebook, or subscribe to them via email, you are missing out. There are one to two stories daily that help me to heal, become more aware and to feel connected with so many people I will never physically meet proving that I’m not alone in how I think or feel. More than anything, I LEARN so much about love and connection. Now THAT’S enough reason to start following. I will give you a second to go do so before you get back to reading the article I will share below…

….

…….

……..

Okay, back? It’s been awhile since I’ve shared on here and that hurts my own feelings. Writing and sharing my blog really helps me and I don’t like that I let myself get so tied up in this crazy world that I forget to heal myself. Before I started working today I read the post below and it fit right into the hole in my mind and my heart that needed to be filled. I hope you enjoy. And, remember, as the last line says, “Let’s help each other out to be grateful for all that they are, build them up, embrace their natural beauty, and ultimately we can all learn to love our mind, bodies and spirit!”

I Love my Body & I Love yours as well.

Via on Sep 24, 2014

savasana woman eyes closed lying down face

I have always wanted the complete opposite of all that makes up my own genetic makeup.

Naturally I am a curvy woman with naturally blonde wavy long hair and deep big blue eyes. But, most of my life I wanted to trade it in for dark long hair, a thin and elegant figure, and exotic dark skin and features.

And there are women who would kill to have my genes. And vice versa. An endless cyclic nature of never being happy with our own bodies.

As a whole, our society has trained us to never be comfortable or content with who we are. We are always wanting to be something we are not.

What makes us this way?

Why can we not embrace how delicately and intricately we were made?

Because in our society, we are taught that physical appearance is everything. If we don’t like how we look, then we can change it.

We can diet, we can exercise, we can have plastic surgery, dye our hair, get colored contacts, get braces, and an endless amount of makeup and clothes options to choose from.

This shows us that if we have all of these means of change, we should do just that—change ourselves.

In a world where eating disorders and body dysmorphia are at an all time high, I feel it is appropriate for us to educate each other, men and women, to love ourselves and accept ourselves for all that we are.

We must build each other up and not break each other down for being different than one another.

We need to learn acceptance of ourselves. We should be proud of our heritage for that makes us physically and mentally who we are. We should embrace the concept that we are all uniquely different from every other soul on this planet.

We must learn that our appearance is not, ultimately, what makes us who we are as people.

Our souls make us who we are.

So while we are consumed with our personal appearance and how we wish we should look, we should recognize that our looks are only a shell for the deeper, more meaningful essence that makes us us!

As we get older, our looks will fade. Our hair will gray, skin will become thin, our breasts may sag, our tummies may become more round and spherical, our eyesight and hearing may go, but our soul stays the same.

Through each journey and life lesson, our soul stays the same. We may grow and learn and become more aware throughout our life—but our soul, it is our one constant—to me, that is beautiful! Aging is beautiful! We are growing and evolving!

If we can learn to love ourselves for what we are, physically and mentally, we can learn to embrace ourselves for all that we are and others for all that they are.

So next time we catch ourselves being envious of someone for having the complete opposite of what we have, take a moment to embrace and be grateful for all that we have ourselves.

I embrace my blonde wavy unmanageable hair! I embrace my breasts that can’t find shirts or dresses to wear. I embrace my sensitive blue eyes. I embrace them all because they were given to me to make the physical essence of Hannah. All that is me. They are only a shell to the deeper corridors of my essence, but they are mine, and I shall forever be grateful!

I embrace your body, all that is physically and intricately different than mine. I embrace your shell. And ultimately, I embrace your soul for all that it is!

Let’s help each other out to be grateful for all that they are, build them up, embrace their natural beauty, and ultimately we can all learn to love our mind, bodies and spirit!

Love elephant and want to go steady?

Sign up for our (curated) daily and weekly newsletters!

About Hannah Hilton

Hannah Hilton is just a woman on a journey—with love in her eyes and flowers in her hair. She is melodically mellow minded with the creative curiosity of a young child. A little yin and a little yang, a nelipot who loves Mother Nature, yoga, live music, good friends, good conversation, good food, art, and a lover of laughter! Follow Hannah’s journey here or connect with her on Facebook.

8/29/14 – Faithfully, I remain

Standard

“Everyone must leave something behind when he dies, my grandfather said. A child or a book or a painting or a house or a wall built or a pair of shoes made. Or a garden planted. Something your hand touched some way so your soul has somewhere to go when you die, and when people look at that tree or that flower you planted, you’re there.

It doesn’t matter what you do, he said, so long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that’s like you after you take your hands away. The difference between the man who just cuts lawns and a real gardener is in the touching, he said. The lawn-cutter might just as well not have been there at all; the gardener will be there a lifetime.”
― Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451

I love this passage from Fahrenheit 451 that references the legacy you leave behind when you die. It’s beautiful! Luckily I have a book filled of memories and messages from so many patients, friends and family members that loved and respected my father. I wish all of you were able to read the pages and pages of memories left on my father’s Legacy page. They are so comforting and such an amazing reminder of how funny, witty, kind, loving and caring he was. As one patient said, “He healed the body and the heart.” The words humor, laughter, bedside manner, cheerful, easy to talk to, gentle, upbeat, friend, thoughtful, attentive and compassion fill the pages. I can’t share them all but I can share one that really puts me at peace:

Dear Larry,
My dear brother in medicine. I know you can see and read this now in a place of peace. You know you are one of the main reasons I became a P.A. You cared for me prior to my attending P.A. School and I always thought of you as a role model when things were tough at Emory. You will always be remembered as an asset to the medical profession, and an asset to the community. Most importantly you will always be remembered by many, many patients whom you touched in your special way.
My deepest condolences to the family, the staff of Snellville and your patients. Dr. Ahrendt, hang in there, we are all here for all of you.

Primum Non Nocere, (Which means, ‘First, do no harm’)

Faithfully,
I remain,

Dennis Joseph Hill, P.A.-C
Emory University P.A. School graduate and friend”

Happy Larry LaViola day, everyone! May his legacy live on in all who knew him and all of the memories we have in our hearts and minds.

“Faithfully, I remain.” What a beautiful way to end a memory. I have to say that the word ‘faithful’ is so pertinent to all of this. His patients, our friends and our family have remained so faithful to my family and I during the journey we call grief and moving on. For that  constant love and support I am so incredibly grateful. Through this faithfulness and love my father’s legacy lives on.