Monthly Archives: December 2011

12/19/11 – Settlin’

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Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.” – Carrie, Sex and the City

When you have a dog you get to know your neighbors and their dogs pretty well. Sadly, you usually know the names of the dogs better than you know the name of their owners, but that’s alright, you are bonded regardless. I tell you this because in the following story, sadly, I don’t know my neighbor’s name.

One of the couples that lives down the street from my building had an older golden when I moved in a year and a half ago.  Soon after, he passed away due to old age after a fabulous doggy life. They ended up getting another golden puppy named Napa. He is the cutest bundle of joy you have ever seen. I guess he is about 8 months old now. Well, on top of having a new puppy they recently had a baby boy (a baby and a puppy, what a handful!)

Well, this past Saturday Napa and Bailey had an impromptu play date in the snow. While they ran around, Napa’s mother and I got to talking about her new baby boy, Flynn. Somehow the conversation got to her age. She was telling me how she waited to get married until she was 45 and then had Flynn at 47. It was then that she said the quote above to me. Following that she said, “My husband is my butterflies! It was well worth the wait.” My heart just melted. How sweet!

Many days I know that myself and some of my single friends feel the pressure from society about meeting someone and starting a life together with them, but why rush? I’m holding out for my butterflies! And he will be well worth the wait 🙂

Suglarland sings a song about this. “Settlin'” is linked the the butterfly below.

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12/16/11 – Compassion

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“Compassion is sometimes the fatal capacity for feeling what it is like to live inside somebody else’s skin. It is the knowledge that there can never really be any peace and joy for me until there is peace and joy finally for you too.” – Federich Buechner

I found out a couple days ago that someone close to someone whom is very close to me lost their mother. The girl is very young, only about 20/21 years old. She is the best friend of my boss’s daughter. Like many, she was lost to cancer. EVERY time I hear about someone losing a parent it eats me up. I mourn for someone I never even knew and for people I’ve never met, but I can’t help but have compassion.

Compassion is a funny thing, by definition it is “a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.” As human beings, well most of us at least, we feel this naturally and have an urge to be able to take away the pain of others. Although we all know we will never succeed, we still want to try and do what we can. How comforting to know that others feel for you, try their best to know how it feels to live inside your skin and to not be personally at peace until you yourself are there.

I like to tell myself that others can feel my compassion from any distance, even though they may not know me. I hope that this family and their friends see an extra smile today, feel a little warmer or a little bit stronger due to the compassion and warm thoughts I am sending their way. The song linked to the picture below defines compassion for me…We are NEVER alone in our pain!

12/15/11 – What we CAN choose

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“There is so much about my fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under the jurisdiction. I can decide how I spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with. I can select what I can read and eat and study. I can choose how I’m going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life-whether I will see them as curses or opportunities. I can choose my words and the tone of voice in which I speak to others. And most of all, I can choose my thoughts.”          

– Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

First of all, if you haven’t read this book or seen this movie, you are missing out. I’ve heard that some people maybe don’t enjoy it as much as I do, but I’m okay with that. I have read it three times and have watched the movie more times than I can count. About a third of my quote book is made up of quotes from this book. This is one of my favorites.

We all have a choice over so many things. Yes, fate controls many aspects of our lives, and some of them are hard and trying, so why not make the best out of the things you can choose. I know that I have. I have chosen to spend my time and life with the most amazing people. I have chosen to spend my money on my home, my baby Bailey, my friends and family. I have chosen to read inspirational and inspiring books and articles and have chosen to study the areas that interest me in school. What I MUST remember and remind myself to choose more wisely, every day, are my words, my tone of voice when speaking with others and my thoughts! We not only have the freedom to choose these things, we have an obligation to choose the things that make us better, make us happier, make us healthier, make us stronger and make this world a better place.

12/14/11 – Effective Communication

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“Anger repressed can poison a relationship as surely as the cruelest words.”

– Dr. Joyce Brothers, Psychologist/Author

Communication. One of the  most important words in the human language, may just be THE most important word. I don’t care how you say it: comunicación, kommunikation, comunicazione, コミュニケーション, Komunikacja, коммуникация, Iletişim, 交流, Communication is imperative! That’s what this quote says to me.

When you initially get angry or upset with someone I don’t think you should immediately react. I think you should take a minute, think it all through, calm down and process the situation and THEN communicate your concerns or issue with the person. The two things you should not do are repress this anger, never saying something, or immediately responding with cruel words. Those two responses are synonymous.  The only answer that makes sense and that will hopefully solve the problem is to communicate civilly with the person you are angry or upset with. The longer you let anger build up inside of you the worse the problem gets. If you NEVER say something, it could build up to the point of resentment. Repressed anger grows and is just as dangerous as using harsh, painful words said to another.

Remember this! It is SO important! We have to communicate with one another. Just because something makes sense in your head doesn’t mean that anyone else knows what you’re thinking, or that they can see your side of a situation without you expressing it. I bet that 75% of the time, the problem is created based on assumptions, gossip, mis-understandings or mis-communication.

Don’t let anger consume your heart. Put everything on the table and leave room in your heart for love. Be kind, be understanding and be open! Click the graph for helpful communication tips.

12/12/11 – Sleeping and Resting

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“I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.” – Mark Twain

I did something WAY out of the norm for Lauren this weekend, I TOOK A NAP, I slept until 10 am on Sunday and I sat down for longer than an hour and did NOTHING at all! And I feel amazing! I never nap or take time to get rest. It really is one of the best things you can do for your body.  Ironically, my daily email from Moodscope I got today said the following:

“It doesn’t happen quite so often with modern computers, but it was often the case that turning a PC off, then back on again really could solve all manner of problems. I think it’s still a useful first step in trouble-shooting. What tended to happen when your computer was doing something demanding such as retouching a photograph or calculating a particularly complex formula, was that it got stuck in a loop – performing processes that were invisible and also entirely unnecessary.The old on/off trick could help no end.

We could do the same with our own in-built ‘hardware’. It’s all too easy to get into an infinite loop of negative thinking. Round and round goes the bad stuff. On and on goes the destructive rumination. Enough already. Time to stop that, and start afresh. How? Perhaps a really good night’s sleep will do it. Or a coat, hat and boots long walk. Or a trip out to see a movie. Sometimes a good cry, even.When you find yourself trapped in a cycle of negative thinking, (a) recognise it (and well done when you do), then (b) do your level best to crowd out the bad thoughts with something else entirely. It’s probably only then that you can start to create a more positive approach.”

Take time to rest, relax, sleep, re-boot! You only get one body and one mind, give it a break from time to time. Click the lion to see more pictures of cute sleeping animals haha

12/10/11 – Music expresses the inexpressible

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“After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.” – Aldous Huxley

I was with a group of friends last night to celebrate the holidays, some old, some new. It only took about thirty minutes for us all to realize that we all had ONE thing in common (besides that we were all fabulous people)…. MUSIC! One artist or band after another, we each named some of our favorites: Mariah, Celine, Adele, U2, Beyonce, George Michael, The Beatles and the list went on and on throughout the night. We went through the IPod playing some of our favorite Christmas and non Christmas songs telling stories about many of them and how we could relate to specific songs.  It was amazing to see how many of us could relate to the same songs, to realize the power music had over our lives and our emotions.

Then, this morning, I took the train for the first time in awhile. I don’t work off of a train stop anymore and I forgot how peaceful and therapeutic it was to ride the train, listening to my music, blocking out the world. I hate to admit, but sometimes I forget how important music is in my life and how it expresses the inexpressible, helping to put my thoughts and my soul at peace.

By the end of the night there was one song that we all seemed to relate to the strongest, many of you I’m sure have the same feelings. I have linked “Someone Like You” by the beautiful Adele to the picture below. This is a version that I was told to check out, live at Jools Holland.